all we know is all we all are

I remember this talk with my gollege religion teacher who was quite strick about homosexualism and war. I was asking how is it possible that she accepts army even though “thou shall not kill” is quite clear commandment and the Way Jesus acted supported this (commandment) quite a lot (turn your other cheeck and so on), but she doesn’t accept two adult human beings loving each other and showing just because they’re the same sex. And Jesus didn’t say anything about homosexualism btw.
Well, to homosexuality she said that Paul said that heavy things about it ( I think Paul was gay, oh well). And to army she said that there’s a part in the bible that says that you should respect the goverment. Well isn’t that funny. When the goverment has accepted gaymarriages will she accept them too? I doubt it. Even though asking you to kill people is a lot more demanded that asking you to love. Or is it another way around? Sad sad woman, and she’s not alone. Sad we all are.

Two adult human beings loving each other, there must be something wrong.

Kronos plays Glass
lupatarkastaja mixtape
Venetian snares
an some more Jesu.

fail, frail, bail.

Venetian Snares crossed my way. Eventhough I’ve heard the same drum sounds so many times before, I kinda like them at this point. It’s the string that make it. I have to listen more of course like always. Otherwise Jesu is still being heart ached and ruining things. Which is very pleasurable of course.

There’s nothing on school schelude for next three weeks, starting after holidays. It will change I hope, but I think I’ll stay away after holiday anyway. My knee is hurting which is a bit worrying to be honest. I hurt it week ago on sunday when performing “things we…” in Joensuu. It was alright for a while but maybe now staying still in cold place everyday has affected. I do not know. I can move easily, but it hurts all the time a bit. Like aches, not really hurts. There’s not much difference being still or moving. I do not know. But knees, they’re just a bad idea really. Not so happy.
Let’s see how it acts tomorrow.

More classical music for me, please. Listened Glass’ string quartet’s played by kronos this morning and oh how I love that music. Have to add them to my list. I should actually get that for my mom also. Maybe she would get somekind of clue.

Oh and got some good feedback about the waves, which was nice. Although people don’t get my idea they get their own which is even better. So nice that there’s some one who can value dullness in a way that it’s far from dull already. Catch my drift?

I think I’m not drifting although I’m bit worried that I am, I just don’t notice it clearly enough. To be here. I keep my eyes open. I do move, but where, what direction and why?

People are feeling empty. That’s ok, they won’t share the reason though, not with me. But I’m not empty. Not even feeling empty. Best to remember not to ask next time. If some one want’s to tell me, s/he will, without me asking. Could I care? Should I care? Less.

Things to do, not doing them.

Reading Pratchett’s Thief of time that I didn’t remember being that funny. Good way to start your mornings.

Start a company, make a business. Return it tomorrow, to be evaluated. Ken ken.

Please do weep.

I want, what I want

another windowsill

From Tenderversion:
Audrey – ep
Once we were – winter kept us warm ep
Scraps Of Tape – Read Between The Lines At All Time
September Malevolence – Tomorrow We’ll Wonder Where This Generation Gets It’s Priorities From

From sinnbus:
Masonne – 10 fake ID’s
Kam:as – Bric-A-Brac
Kam:as – A Gap In Building
SDNMT = Seidenmatt – Double CD – IYUTSO-BI + Wasserluft
SDNMT = Seidenmatt 10″ – Split w/ Honey For Petzi
Torchous – Cut The Plans
Torchous – Variations

From anywhere
Mogwai – Friend of a night
Mogwai – Mr. beast
Green Carnation – acoustic verses
Katatonia – My twin
Katatonia – The Great Cold Distance
Cult Of Luna – Somewhere Along The Highway
Arve Henriksen – Sakuteiki
Arve Henriksen – Chiaroscuro
Nine Horses – Snow borne sorrow
ryoji ikeda.dataplex
Sufjan Stevens – Illinois
Sufjan Stevens – Seven Swans
Avia Gardner – more than tongue can tell

From: NMC
Silvio – Amass All You Can
Underwater Sleeping Society – Future on a plate
Rubik – People go missing

From If Society
The Rachel’s – The Sea & the Bells
The Rachel’s – Selenography

I’m sure there is more.

There’s also a lot of things to check but I’ll not list them here right now.

Oh joy.

But really, there’s nothing

we start so small, we end up dying

We are already living in a state of fear and selfcensorship. All our bold feminist are doing nothing except being sorry for some mild pictures even though there should be planty to say about islams ways to treat women. Maybe our bold feminists, president included, want to go back home cooking food, making babies, dressed in bags.
One finnish culture magazine from Oulu (northern town) released a cartoon which does include muhammed and cartoonist having a conversation. I see no reason for anyone to get upset. I see no way that would make mockery of anyones beliefs even. And still, head editor has been sacked. Town of Oulu has cancelled the work they had ordered from the cartoonist. Two big finnish insurance/banking companies took out their advertisemt from the magazine. What we learn from here? It’s quite ok to threat with violence. It works. Now I only wonder that maybe I should start to make death threats too, that seem to be the way to make things work in here. I’ll kill you and your family if you don’t do as I say!!!!

Oh brother.

Added support danmark banner to side as you can notice, but it’s not really their struggle anymore. It’s ours, it’s mine.

Sad am I, sad I am.

On the happier side. Maiju made me a new hat since the previous one got stolen in Israel. It’s very very good although she complained that she couldn’t get as good yarn as she used for the stolen one. I don’t mind, it’s better than the hat’s I have. Let’s see has Noora got the one I ordered ready. She also complained about the yarn I got for her, saying it’s so thing that it will take ages to make it ready. And I do believe her since it has taken ages, hah. Although I could also blame Hanna since I do not know anything about knittin etc. and she was with me when buying the yarn and said that it would be fine. I guess, no, I’m not excatly sure she said that, but she didn’t said it wouldn’t be fine either.

Weazie sent me one of his songs with vocals if I would care to sing it. I will although I do not think my performance will be any better than his, actually. But it’s very nice of him to ask. I can make couple of versions and then he can use one of them if he want’s. My bet is that he won’t use them after all. Then again I haven’t made the versions yet.

Which brings to mind that I really should and should and should sing. Also I should make up some lyrics. I should record. I should edit. But instead I sit here in front of computer writing this blog, and reading others. Jeij.

Soon it’s waves again, sixth day. On seventh, all rested but I will not.

Lot of people/bloggers seem to use flickr, I wonder should I? But maybe first I should do since it’s still not ready. To be honest I havent’ really even started. There’s still hundreds of pictures I should run through and see what I want to present.

Remember: friends are evil. If not to you, to the other people.

“and all the stones I’ve thrown, they came back twice as strong”

found this:

Very clear writing why those 12 cartoons was published in jyllands posten. Shame on you finnish president, prime minister and other sorry cowards.

Heart Ache

with a hope that

On previous post I was wrong. Those five songs on “a sunset panorama” are not key songs, because there is more. Buy the album dammit. Listening more Jesu, ep for a change. Although it’s not so masterly as debut. Have to give it a chance, still. Also it’s very very nice that there’s new Katatonia coming, but I really doubt that even the new one will beat “discouraged ones”. I still think that discouraged ones is their best album to date. Which doesn’t mean that the rest of them would be bad, no way. I’ve listened also tonight’s decision today and viva emptiness. And wow, on half way “heart ache” he brings in absolutely brilliant riff, just for a few minutes but hey now it comes again on 10.50. Jeij. I think I even have to learn something about Godflesh. I’m not so into man/woman which is said to be most godfleshy song on “debut”. So maybe I’ll not get into it, but I have to give it a change don’t I?

“But really there’s nothing”


Fifth day of waves. One person watching. jeij. Cold doesn’t feel so cold anymore but today was a warm day. Time spans. more movement there is the longer the time seems. If nothing happens, half an hour can be such a short time.

“but really there’s nothing”

Tomorro I might have my hair open. Isn’t it an interesting piece of information, and such a change. But maybe I have to think will I edit the video and how, and how will it affect if on one day I have my hair open. Maybe I won’t open it after all just to play it safe. What do you care anyway. You probably won’t be here to see it.

Though about gettin airtunes today, but then came to my senses. But when/if I get the laptop, maybe then. It would be quite handy. Although most of my music library would be on external hard drive anyway, so I’m not so sure after all. I just want new toys. It seems.

Tomorrow I hope to sleep late.
Hopes up.

“And all the stones I’ve thrown….”

She’s warm like fire..

sky above ground ahead
…the smoke will lead you home

To be honest the whole sunset panorama is great eventhough these to excerpt are both from the same song. It’s actually such a masterful entirety that it’s in a way even hard to pick out song, but I’ll do it anyway: asymmetric tricks, trace back the particle track, ahabian, fell into the well. With “smoke will..” these four songs are key songs, but with out others they wouldn’t be.

So more logh. And waking to the sounds of sine wave by Mogwai. Then changing into Katatonia‘s tonight’s decicion and then Jesu into headphones as I walk to school.

Jesu actually suited my day quite perfectly. I really have tired of me feeling. In a way. Not very nice day. Too tired and I feel I might be coming sick but I decided that I won’t.

Since today was the 4th day of waves. Three more days to go. And three more waves. Nobody watching today. But yesterday there was two people visiting. It’s funny since the whole thing is based on repetition. I really feel that to get most out of it you should visit at least on two days. And on the flyer/advertisement I’ve clearly stated that they are different. But maybe if you’ve seen one wave you’ve seen them all (what is a wave?).

So right now I’m feeling ill a bit. Slight headache. But TV is showing “runoraati” (poem program) on ten minutes and I really want to hear poems. And to hear what the people in studio has to say about them.

Just to say this out loud. Do yorself a big favour and visit Logh and order all of their albums. And I mean all of them. “every time a bell….” is too good to be true and these too next ons are way too good too.

Good night and good luck to you all.

Smoke will…

behind the I see more clearly
…lead you home.

Of course from lupatarkastaja came link to Logh‘s video. That got me to listen to it again. I still haven’t watched the DVD that came with the album. Why? The music is enough and more.

Nobody watching the waves today, and no surprise. I guess there will be no one tomorrow either. But maybe, just maybe on thursday there will be someone. It was friggiing cold. I did get there a heater but it wasn’t very effective. I was told tomorrow I can have another one. I hope that is more efficient. Thanks to Daniel who had put the sauna on so I do not feel that cold anymore. Half an hour is surprisingly short time. At least in that setting. funny that is.

Got a letter today which got me quite annoyed and sad. Nothings changed, same words over and over again but do they mean anything anymore? Right now I feel not. Maybe some other day I feel different. Maybe some other day I feel indifferent. I’m just tired of hearing same stuff over and over again, Things should have changed already a 3 years ago. at least, but no. I try to figure out what the hell I’m doing here. What I will do. Who do you trust when there’s no one to trust to?

I been waking up with computer. But today I realised that it’s not a good idea. I will put Mogwai‘s rock action into my vinyl player and wake up with the sounds of sine wave.

Sad and tired. I’ll try and go to bed.

I pretend to try, even if I tried…

even if I died alone


Thank you Sufjan.

Well we decided to have the jams anyway. There’s not so much people coming but ladies, or more likely Henna was determined that it’s still a worth while so now we’re having the jam. I went along eventually but as soon as I had send the messages to people who are coming and realised that it’s possible that even some of them will cancel, I started to doubt the whole thing. I want out.
Can I get myself out?
Can I?

Maybe just to leave on thursday, or maybe on sunday. I don’t know. I do feel that I need a holiday, yet again, and now I’ve also given up 4 days of my holiday. It would be ok if there would be 30 people coming but there is not. I’m afraid we won’t reach the critical mass, when everything starts to flow by it self. If that happens we have to struggle a bit. There’s nothing wrong in strugling but it’s not holiday, that’s for sure.

The first wave out of eight went quite nicely. No one was there, but it doesn’t matter. It was freaking cold of course since I was barefeet and the place is about as cold as outside. Maybe even colder today, because it’s been gettin warmer outside. For tomorrow I decided to ask a couple of heaters to blow warm air. Thanks. Let’s see will I get them. If I won’t, I’ll just have to wear woolsocks I guess.

Back to the jam issue: I really can’t win can I. If it would have been canceled. It would have been because of me. if it won’t work out. It will be because of me. Aaargh.
Oh well I you would like to come to contact improv jam on 3-6.3 please let me now asap.

Even if I died alone.


behind the curtains light falls into my eye

Practised today with the sounds of CoL, Katatonia and Ulver. Went through “things we lost in the fire” once. Leaving out some stuff taking it easy and still it was 17 minutes long. I thought it would be shorter since I really left things out.

Was performing yesterday in stardust and oh how depressing. No one says a thing. When I come to think of it, R is the only person who has ever said that my performance/performing/work is good. I think no one else. And sometimes I feel that she sees me like my mother, not realistic really, always a bit more than I really am.
I wouldn’t like to compare myself, but I do. How people applaud, to others, to me. Well it seemed that Timo liked my yesterday’s so at least something. He didn’t say anything though. Yes, I am depressed, with performing. Why the hell I’ve been in this school for 2&1/2 years. And tomorrow I should do a solo yet again. I try to build up trust. Not to myself, but to work, and eventually the work will include me. How do you trust when there’s no one to trust to. How do you feel, when you feel lost?

Morning there was Mogwai playing, then ATG on my trip to school and back. Back home Mogwai again and I’m listening ep+6. rage:man went through me totally. When those distorted guitars hit the scene I just collapsed o to my bed and laughed/cried, silently, out of breath. Not because it was funny/sad, but because it’s beautiful. The whole song is. Do you know what is pure joy? I think I do.

This makes me think, how there’s so many ways to listen. I can listen to this song over and over again not really letting it touch me. I can like it, I can enjoy it, but I’m not really giving myself in. Or I can really choose to be taken, to really listen and feel. To be here.
How often people really let it come through. Maybe that’s why most of radio stations play simple, empty headed, unpersonal pop. People don’t want to be touched. And it’s understandable, on work, on probably most social situations, we don’t want to be touched. To be there, open.

And of course different persons have different keys. I can tell you some of mine:
Mogwai – rage:man
Arvo Pärt – Spiegel im spiegel
Balanescu quartet – Still with me
Sufjan Steven – Flint
At the Gates – the Flames of the end

There is more, and they change with time of course. Although I think Spiegel im spiegel will be eternal.
It’s hard to give in, to really listen, to really feel.

Take space, Give time, Give in.

With a promised swarm

tomorrow the greygrass

So where are we now?

President is apologizing because some finnish net site “published” the muhammad pictures. I do not understand why on earth is she apologizing? And what? That we have morons in this country? WTF there’s morons in every country and I still believe that pictures do far more less harm than threatning/acting with violence. What greatly annoys me in this is the fact that those people who released the pictures and also those who draw them are not muslims? Why they should follow islamic law? Should we all then start to follow sharia law? Should all the women in here dress in robes and whatnot and stay home under manly supervising? I know that they published the pictures in means of provokation, why on earth there’s a need to get upset? Why? I’m getting upset because there are people who are using violence as a tool of communication. Not because there’s people who are NOT following jesus or the god I believe exists? Are they apologizing this to me? I do not think so. WTF is wrong with you. I can draw pictures of muhammed and jesus. I am not a muslim. I’m not ruled by their laws or ethics and why the hell I should be. I was born and I’m still living in MOSTLY christian country. I should follow the laws of the country and my own ethics. Not theirs. If someone is NOT following their ethics why we should apologize? I do not understand.

Had lataamo today. Played pop and metal. ’90 ’90 ’90. At the Gates is right,
“the living end
the dwarfed soul of man
the living end…
.. our ignorance will be the end of humanity
a dead nation under one dead god
What is evil but good tortured by it’s own hunger and thirst?”

Things are not black and white, but there is a such thing as right (even though my right might not be your right). And I have to know what is right, what is important, and to follow it.

I still believe that killing people is wrong, although I start to see it’s good points. I still believe that slavery is wrong. I still believe that domestic violence is wrong. I still believe that even threatning with violence is wrong. Much more wrong than some offensive pictures. Now, bugger of with those pictures. And I don’t know if this is true, but if it is, we (as a nation, european, christian, western, whatnot) have NO reason to be sorry or apologize.

What if everybody would take care of them selves for a change? Like that I’ll follow my own morals. Although if someone moral is to kill everyone who don’t believe like s/he does, then we’re fucked. Well, we’re fucked anyway. Western corruption will kill us all anyway. Praise the Lord.

All the mystics everywhere around the world agrees that everything is fine, well, ok.
Thanks Anthony de Mello.

Something more important? Yes, Cult of Luna is releasing a new album. Jeij. And I already told about Mogwai, Jeij.
There’s probebly something else too to wait for.

I still lack one assistant to help me with 8 waves for 7 days. I’ll find one, sure. Got the “flyers” ready today. Maybe I’ll post a picture soon. Probably to darlingdear’s dance section though.

Good night and good luck to you all.

Folk death 95

morning starts with
I had no coffee this morning since coffee was out. It went hiding. I found it in the shop. Tomorrow morning will be better… maybe. I don’t know I’ve felt myself really tired today, but not all the time just occasionally. Like now. It also could be that I haven’t been out enough, or here isn’t enough fresh air.

I was supposed to go practise “things we lost..” but I didn’t. Too tired. now I think I should just read a book for a some time and fall a sleep. That would be the best I guess.

Still there isn’t enough people fo a jam in my opinion. More people please.
Or not at all.

Lupatarkastaja hooked me up with new Mogwai song. I can find the link there but you can also go straight from here. Song sounds great. I think they’re still on toplist of postrock. Another album that I HAVE TO get. I think that they haven’t done bad album. All of them are great. Not all of the songs though.

Otherwise ATG is still playing and for a balance some Mitchell Akiyama. I think I could listen some Entombed also, but it’s not very good for sleeping now, is it?

Tomorrow I will.


provebs of

I have have some issues with eating. Or chocklad. I eat too much of it. It feels that I just can’t stop. Argh.

Troll is still sick so I practised “things we..” and a bit of “tomorrow, when you’re gone” not for a long though. “Things we lost..” is changing but I don’t really know when it’s finished then. Sybrig said that it isn’t, R said it is. I though it was. What else I could add there and does it really need that? I’ll continue working on it tomorrow is Troll is stil ill.

“hey, we only hurt the ones we love”. Well, it’s not the kind of comfort I was thinking of

Listened Entombed’s “to ride, shoot…” today. From cd suddenly. They have great lyrics. Also more ATG and now my late time favourite Mitchell Akiyama’s “small explosions…”

Took some pictures outside today. I think I’ll get them to computer. If there’s anything good, you’ll probably see them here sooner or later.

Heard that grandmother is better again. Funny that. What happend in the brain that one time you can be so totally lost and then really coherent again. It would be easy to understand if she just travelled towards the past and peculirity, but to travel back and forth that’s harder, for me, somehow. Dementia works both ways?
All and all it’s nice to hear that she’s better.

Maybe tonight I’ll get to bed early enough.

Sad part is there’s no coffee or the morning.

I wanna ride. Gun in my hand. God on my side.
I’ve tried. So far no good. More than a little misunderstood.

What about

hours looking back to see...

Actually got something done, which is weird. Troll is sick so no “mercy…” practise but instead I practised/warmed up “things we lost in the fire”. Just in case he won’t recover early enough, so I have a backup piece I can show next saturday. Although I rather would do the duet.

Found a place for 8 waves, it’s could but it’s visually much better than the warmer one, and the warmer one isn’t warm either. Still have two wave DVD’s to make. Tomorrow.

Today I’ve been listening more metal. My Dying Bride from cd at morning, both “turn loose the swans” and “Songs of darkness words of light”. Then At the gates from iMac. I’ve become a freak. I just watch when will update my overall top list. And how up ATG goes.

And now, Knut.

If you read finnish, this is an interesting piece of writing.

Tepper’s Beauty takes tight turns… I’m not so sure do I like it. I’ll go on. Actually there isn’t many books that I haven’t read till the end. To me it’s really hard to judge books anyhow. Rarely I can say that some book is bad or lousy. Rarely I can say is the book really good either. There is exceptions of course, like all those Ursula K Le Guins that I’ve been praising. And “Master and Margarita” from Bulgakov and Ray Loriga’s “tokio doesn’t love us anymore” Flann O’brien’s “third policeman”(all three read in finnish though). So yes there’s great books but rarely really lousy books. Well probably there’s a lot of lousy books but I just haven’t pick’d them up. Except Dean R. Koontz. I’ve read two of his books and both of them were really crappy. The plot was so bad even for a horror book. And for some reason I started the third one but I couldn’t finish it. Actually I’m not sure did I finnish the second one either. The text is depressingly bad, language is really lousy (or then the tranlater was really bad) and the plot was total crap. And this guy seems to be selling a lot? Why. There’s so much better writers specially in the field of horror.

That’s enough. I’ll go to sleep so I have energy to practise dance tomorrow duet or solo.

Tomorrow, tomorrow

constructed landscapes

Do I wanna listen to, heavy metal music… I have to, neighbours are making a lot of noise. Well mainly just that one annoying woman. How come I come to hate the voice. And always so loud. Really, what is it. Always loud.

Instead doing things today I decided to do them tomorrow. What a great decision. I have a strong tendency for this, and eventually it means I don’t get anything done, by deadline or at all.

I’m addicted to net. I know it’s stupid but I really am. Today I’ve spent at least 4 hours in front of this computer doing nothing really worthwhile. Like I spent quite a time to find new banner and found it. It’s back to side from the footer.

Tomorrow I should practise “mercy..” with Troll, check the space for “8 waves for 7 days” and… probably do something else too, like flyers for “waves” or edit “mercy…” 3.1 & 3.2 or the business task that we had from school, which should have been returned about two weeks ago. Lala.

Been listening Ved Buens Ende. Oh how beautiful riffs they have. It’s a shame that they never made a second album. Really something unique. I noticed that I don’t have “those who caress the pale” on mac so I put it there and ended up taking also all At the Gates’ (right now I’m listening “with fear I kiss…”) and Entombed’s “wolverine blues” and Kari RueslÃ¥tten’s “pilot”. I haven’t listened Pilot a lot and now when I went through a couple of songs from it I remembered why. It’s too easy, not very mmm personal. Definetly something else than “Tears Laid in Earth” or “Sorrow”. She’s a good singers, but the songs lack something, maybe it’s that personality, somehow. I wonder why I’ve bought the album. Oh maybe I’ll give it a go sometimes later.

Started to read Beauty by Sheri S Tepper, that Pocasta left me maybe two years ago. I also have some of her Ursula K Le Guin, I wonder when she wants them back. Maybe someone will give me a warning before she comes claiming them at my door. Not that I wouldn’t return the books, sure.

Got a mail from MeeshMeesh today, saying that she taking Gingy’s place since Gingy is apparently leaving, as is Marcona Seabreeze. That’s somehow sad. Well I knew that Seabreeze is going but I hope that Gingy would have stayed. No wonder though, it’s a hard place to live in someways. And MeeshMeesh also told me that summer jam (4th of july?) is going to be faciliated by Rainbow and Lavender. That’s really nice. I hope I could go, but I heavily doubt it. Oh well. Hope Ulla is having fun.

Ok. I should go to sleep. I won’t, probably. Earplugs earplugs.

I feel my soul go cold…

only the dead are smiling
Today I, among others, heard this amazing story of old hallways underneath even the mine safts of outokumpu. There was some ancient breed that used to freeze human souls to have tools to sculpture the hardest stone on earth.
The story took about two hours and was really amazing achievement of improvised story telling. I still have the mental image of lighting a lamb.

Changed my chart to be top five overall artist and it’s underneath there on a footer of the page. Let’s see.
What an important piece of information.

Oku jams are not looking so well. Right now we have ten people coming (including us) and there should be at least 20.
I think I’ll have to write another mail.

I’m clearly missing something. Is it a person or is it those things that I connect to this person? What I am actually missing? Touch, that’s for sure.

For the whole of this week I’ve been dining alone. Some days it has been my choice, some days not. Do I have anything to say to anyone? Does anyone has anything say to me? It’s nice to eat alone, but sometimes it’s nice to have company. I’m starting to miss the company for a change.

After playing Knut in Lataamo yesterday I’ve been listening it today, a bit. I think I have to check their earlier albums. Terraformer is really rocking.

And if you manage to look at the list on a footer, I’ll let you know that most of that Cat Power is really just that one song, He war.

Good night, it’s late, yet again.

I never meant to be the…

lines will cross... apparently
needle that broke your back…
-Cat Power

I kept Lataamo today, yes sure ken. It was actually broadcasted to net. Next time (hopyfully next week) you can find it from radiokupari. I played Isis, Red Sparowes, Cult of Luna and Steve Reich among others.

Otherwise I’ve been listening He War by Cat Power over and over again. I even went to search things about her from the net and found out that her US tour is cancelled due health reasons. I hope she’s alright. I have to hear other albums too, well I haven’t really listened even this since I’m repeating one song over again but it’s a pretty brilliant song goddamnit.

I also tried to search some samples of post Nina Gordon era of veruca salt (hahaa), but didn’t find any. My search wasn’t throughout though. I never remeber which songs I liked better Post’s or Gordon’s. I listened many years ago that Gordon’s solo album and that was -ing horrible. Almost like Liz Phair now except where Phair is getting to teens Gordon’s was total AOR. Horrible horrible. No… balls at all (well what do you expect).

“He war he war he will kill for you…”

So many thanks to Heather for introducing this.

Saw new video of Katatonia. Video wasn’t too bad, not very good either though, but song is solid Katatonia, so one more album that I’ll have to get.

“Hey hey hey…”

Luckily I do not have to wake up tomorrow morning so early. Jeij.

Still no update from weird. It’s all gone… I wonder how Carl-Michael is. Will he ever play drums again? If not, I hope guitar. All the best to that direction.

“We’re onto your same old tricks..”

More more more…

follow me into earth

I’ll try to avoid sad topics this time.

So thanks again to lupatarkastaja who led me allthingsmetal blog. Found some live bootlegs and it’s always nice to hear bands live. Although out of those three that I’ve listened this far the sound quality isn’t so good. Since I’ve somehow used to tose Mogwai(who have just released new cd btw) live’s that I’ve found from archive. And almost all of them the soundquality is really suberb. Then again I think Mogwai is really quite positive towards taping/recording their gigs, so maybe that’s one reason.
Quality or not it’s really nice to hear live set’s for a change. In here it isn’t so easy to get to gigs anyway.

On that littel piece of time I spent home today being wake I listened Badly Drawn Boy and Cat Power (thanks Heather) And I finally noted that the song I always listen from Cat Power is “he war”. I think it’s the best song on that album (you are free) Somehow it reminds me all of the good stuff I’ve heard from Liz Phair (oh my god what she’ve turned into!) and Veruca Salt (I should check them out, now). Really simple song but lot of vocals and simple but really working hooks with guitar and keys. I think the main thing for me is her vocals all the same. I’m not so into the rest of the album yet. I think I’ll have to listen to it more. But if I find this on sale (≤10€), I’ll get it just for “he war”.

I got my first message on which is kind of sad, in a way. Well, I haven’t been very active there, that’s true. Anyway someone asking me something about Mitchell Akiyama since I’m one of his top fans in lastfm. That was kind a nice to hear. To be someones top fan. Although I would hope that people would listen him much more. I haven’t been in for that long anyway.
I notice that I listen a lot of music through iMac nowadays and one reason definetly is lastfm. Then again there’s a lot of music I haven’t really listened to, in my computer and to which I should really get into and that will bend my charts in a way, since I don’t necessarily like those bands. Oh well I guess if I don’t want it I can switch scrobbler off from somewhere.
And for some reason my weekly chart isn’t updated yet? I don’t know the reason, because it used to update every sunday, then last time on monday… maybe it skips one day ahead?

I decided to start new blog, concerning my final work and other dance related stuff. It’s in finnish and if you want to read it, mail me and I’ll tell you how to find it.

Good night and good luck to you all.

Indian summer

Way too long I've sat here and...

No actually. Outside is so cold that I’ve stayed inside the whole day. It isn’t wise, I know. Almost needless to say, but I say anyway that I do not feel too good. This flat has a beautiful quality to become really hot when outside is really cold. But then when outside is near 0ËšC, temperature inside goes down also. Not to 0ËšC but close enough so that it’s cold. Nicest balance seems to be around -10ËšC in winter. And summer is easy.

I tried to figure out how I could rip supersilent 7 audio to cd, so that I could listen to it with portable. Tried ffmpegX, but for some reason it doesn’t rip all of the VOB’s. 1 and 3 won’t work. All the other ones (2, 4-7) work quite fine. I also tried toast but that only rips the first sequence. So I’m actually missin only VOB 3. But I would like to do whole thing with something more certain. Now if you have a suggestion about software, please do tell me. Remember I’m using iMac, not windows.

Apparently fresh pasta survives one day in room temperature without going bad. I think I would have some signs already.

Pratchett’s “The truth” is almost finished and I can’t recall how it actually ends, which is nice, of course. I read it three years ago, memory is not that long after all. I have vague ideas of course.

Been reading to blogs, and a lot about this “thou shall not draw a prophet” thingy. Enough is said. Today I heard in news that quite a few islamic leaders have condemned the violence. I am very glad to hear that. Thanks.

“you ought to start them young, that way they naturally love the taste of corporate cum…”
Listening Pedro the Lion‘s control. It’s such a shame that Bazan won’t use that name anymore. I like it.

I have to think about “8 waves for 7 days”. I haven’t decide the place yet so on this starting week I have to do it. It also seems that I cannot do it between 17-18 everyday since it’s getting brighter and brighter. It’s not dark enough at 5pm. I think I’ll do it from 7pm to 8pm then. Kind of logical. I should finish the DVD’s and make a some kind of hand program and flyers. I have ideas already but now I have to make them reality, which is always difficult to me.
First I though that I would use week 7 but now it seems there would be chance to perform with “Mercy..” 4.1 on that week so maybe I’ll shift it to week 8. More reasons to start 7pm.

I didn’t keep lataamo this past week eventhough I should’ve, for various reasons. So I’m going to do it this coming week (so hard to write on sunday) and it should be possible to hear it through the web. If so, I’ll try to post the address. Going to play Isis, COL, Red Sparowes, etc. And then something else.

more frantic bleep, nine horses, paus
but also Autolux, Pedro the Lion and Mister Basinski

All things pass

i am a child of the forest of dismay

In a way what a lovely day. Nothing to do, well there is, but nothing to worry about, well there is, but nothing to… anyway. Nothing that I would have to do right now, nothing that I would have to worry right now. Been inside since outside it’s cold. Listened music more or less. Wondered is it really so offending to make a mockery out of God, and does all those people, who are saying that danmarks press (I forgot the newspapers name) have done wrong, think that it’s then quite allright and understandable to use and threat with violence? The proeblem seems to be that we are easily judging our reactions, but no body seems to judge all that violence. Come on. World is full of stupid pictures. Is that really reason to burn houses or kill people? We’re in serious trouble.

My opinion? Yes maybe that newspaper wasn’t too toughtful, maybe they could have think twice before publishing the pictures, but people are seriously over reacting. They’re threathing lives of people who just happen to come from nordic countries. Please, some big islamic authority, could you judge this behaviour? Also, “we” here should judge that kind of behaviour.

Some people are all the time complaining that they’re culture isn’t respected. I see that now days in finland the culture that get least respect seems to be christianity. We should take care that hindus, muslims or atheists don’t feel offended by our xmas parties or whatever. But somehow no one has to take care that our culture and habits aren’t offended, because they are, all the time.

And the funniest thing is that those pictures were published because of notion that certain topics about islam is being censored. No wonder because you can get yourself killed. We really are entering into society where we cannot speak about things anymore. We have to watch out our step otherwise we get killed. You know what that is called? Terror, terrorism. We are terrorised to be silent.

I do not think that women should stay home. I do not think that women should be beaten by their husbands. I do not think that women should be opressed under the force of men. I cannot think that it is right even if it would be part of some ones culture. I do not think that threatning with violence is right. I do not think that circumcision is right in most of the cases. I don’t think that deathpenalty is right. Not so long ago, people sacrificed other people to god, that was part of the culture. Do you think that was right? Please, if you judge those stupid pictures, remember to judge also the use and threath of violence.

When I started I really didn’t think I would write about this, but apparently I can’t help myself. You see, I don’t have to approve and understand everything. Neither do you. The question is, In a case of disapproval, how do we act?

I baked quite good datebread, since it’s S’s birthday. Soon it will be all gone.
I read Pratchett’s the Truth and will continue tomorrow.
I listened
Frantic Bleep
Massive Attack
Edge of Sanity
Nine Horses
Susanna and the magical orchestra
Hanne Hukkelberg
Lali Puna
Broken Social Scene
Frank Jordan
Bad Plus

Tolerate. I will not Tolerate. Jesus won’t you fucking whistle…

angel left wing right wing broken wing
lack of iron and/or sleeping

So so so sad.

Been reading a lot of writing about this case. I’m sad. I could have hoped that islamic leaders in finnish would have said that they don’t aprove the death threats, or the violent acts. But apparently they have not said this, which means that we are all under a threath, say one word wrong, write one word wrong and people actually think that you should be killed. GOD, true GOD doesn’t mind our words, our writings our contempt our jokes because s/he is infinite and above all of that.

Islam doesn’t look too bright. No wonder also right wing christianity is getting wind under their wings. World doesn’t look too bright. All of this because of couple of pictures. Totalitarian states have always killed the art and artists. I am an artist. So it’s way too easy to choose my side on this.

You sad sad sad people. Right wing, left wing. All the same.

Now, please go to Blake archive And see what Isaiah says in The Marriage of Heaven and Hell , plate 12. And according to my memory in old testament (at least in finnish translation) god defines himself as s/he who is. Look around, what IS there?

Anything worth to fighting for?

Sad bastards. Bomb all! Go a head already. Mankind has no hope.

In this hopelessness I get great comfort from:
Monopot – everything is like nothing was
Monopot – Optipess
Hanne Hukkelberg – Little things
Among others.

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