Few words about
cynicism.
You see it seems that most people don’t really think. Or don’t really sense so much even though in this age is the hip to sense and feel. Be overwhelmed every moment.
To have this craving for feeling. I must feel something! Mostly we feel nothing much, it’s quite ok, drearys.
Some people claim that I am the most cynical person they know. That might be true. Where this cynicism springs from? This is my interpretation.
It’s so hard to be sensitive, fragile and emphatic. I can’t burst out crying everytime I read the paper, well I can but that’s quite consuming also. Where most of the people’s seem to close their eyes and ears and whatnot, to not to notice that things are Not going quite the way they should be. People are not so nice as they should be. Justice (whatever that may be) is not served quite like it should be. And maybe those who are not so sensitive about it can go on living quite easily. Then again those who are not have to protect themselves somehow.
This sensitivity to world and people and right and wrong and possibility to do something about it, makes some people cynical. Of course there has been this fashion also, to be ever cynical and ironic. But that’s not real.
I feel that my choices are limited. I can either, become hardheaded, hardhearted and dumb. I can stay as fragile as I am and brake down again and again (which I’ll do anyway). Or I can become cynical. I choose to be cynical. It’s really hard to be anything else when you read the newspapers today. And it’s not really even this sensitivity, it’s about this helplesness not to be able to do something about it. I can’t save you. So please take care of yourself.
I’m not making myself very clear, am I?