Songs I hear(t)
Not quite that warm yet though… well some days ahve been, today, not.
Been busy mainly just digitizing my cd’s. Pretty dull in a way but then today I listened Kent for a such a long time and my god.. I don’t know.. what is nostalgia? Because I don’t relate those song so much in my life. I can remember when I heard some of them for the first time and so.. But mainly I think they move me just because they’re so undenyingly good. Listen Kräm (så närä får ingen gå) or 10 minuter (för mig själv) from Verkligen or Blåjeans, Ingenting någonsin or När det blåser på månen and tell me those song aren’t great and I tell you’re tone deaf. So moving so great so beautiful songs. It’s awesome.
THen I listened some old days like Fell of the floor, man and Via and same thing… Uh. deeply moving. or then it’s just the time of the year.Or then it’s just that I really listen…
I can listen or then I can really listen, let myself go into the music or let the music come into me. And the sensation within these two just listening and really hearing/being is very different. Like.. err.. I hear the same things.. same sound waves but in latter I really let them sink in deeper emotional level and that’s why I’m moved. Often specially in company I can’t or I don’t dare to let myself really listen because… well maybe there’s this tough that it makes me vunerable because it makes me cry but actually.. it doesn’t it’s deeply empowering.. Maybe it has more to do with “normal” social behaviour and how people tend to react on crying. ANd it’s great to be with someone or someones that you trust that they don’t get uncomfortable and you can really listen and really let yourself feel and be in the music as full as you are. But there’s not so many people I’m comfortable enough to do this, but maybe I should start to give people more credit.
So my father got himself a new toy, which mean I got a new toy. It’s nice, it’s noce from him also.
Now I can do internet stuff in my travelling too if I want (like bide.be.
The promise I gave was fullfilled today. Mirva cut my hair and I’m so very thankfull for her. It would have been so different thing to go some barber who I don’t know and who doesn’t know than to have it made by a dear friend with whom I have shared (and am sharing) such an important part of my life, dancing CI.
Talking about Mirva and CI I was in her last class in Kiev (didn’t make there untill the second day after her class) and it was the first class maybe in 3 or 4 years at least when somebody is teaching some technically really advanced material. And don’t think this in a wrong way, advanced isn’t really a thing as such. Most of advanced stuff is always just basic but with different depth. Butthis stuff she gave on counterbalances was really difficult. And if you do it “wrong” it’s quite easy, but to do it right like she showed you have to be so aware of your center, mass, support and directions that it’s just not an easy thing to do. She’s really great teacher.
I don’t really know what else. I’m wondering how I will live with my new hair. One dear friend of mine told that hair carry a lot of our past in them, and if you want to change something in you or your life cutting hair might help. I do want a change, but like always I want a fairytale change, let’s see will it happen.
Some changes are for worse…. but I don’t know how to write about this so I won’t. Just that one more reminder that there is always real people behind the tabloid news.
My life is good, DO I appreciate it enough?
But people are different I have couple of friends who are like me, that they’re mostly complaining about things. More often, if not seeing just the negative side, at least stating it out. Eventhough in my eyes their life is in many ways so easy. But in them I se myself. I’m like that to, my life is so easy, that’s why I have all this time to complain in the first place…
Soon, maybe I’ll try to do some songs… next week I think. just something raw… easy uncomplicated. Same chords, same notes, over and over again.
You are free.