under the sun

Nothing new.

In crimea, walking down to the path from the spring I was thinking how we have somehow perverted the knowing. In “modern” or post modern or at least in finnish society it seems that the knowledge is symboliced and the actual symbols have become a “the knowledge” eventhough they’re just symbols of knowledge. What do I mean. Theory and practise, you need both. How ever we seems to put more and more weight into theory, words, I love words. And yet the true knowledge is always physical experience. To make an operation well, yes it is to know how to make it, and basically reading a couple of books won’t do any harm, but it’s not only about the books. You actually need to do it. Take the scalpel and get down to work. We have taking the value of “true” knowledge from physical action and placed that value on “studying” books. And now we are “importing” workers from poland, estonia, russia, whatnot because A) they ask less money B) we don’t have enough of our own C) they (our own) are doing as bad work anyway. And why the (finnish) work is bad? Because the society has told for few decades that being a plumber is a shitty job that only dumb people do. So what do we get? A dumb plumber who is doing a shitty job. (No there must be good ones as well, but when I have listened discussions I’ve come to conclusion that if I would do the job well, and honest, I would have so much work as I could do, with minimal advertisement) Same goes almost to ANY other profession that actually needs real physical knowledge. Then again I’m making mistake here, because EVERY work need physical knowledge, after all all knowledge is physical. Only true knowledge is physical. and the tricky thing is that your only way to communicate is often symbolical (words) so pretty much always you’re just pointing towards to knowledge, not giving the knowledge itself.

Since having not much to do I’ve been reading a bit from internet and many things are rather interesting. Like free tibet, what if tibet was already freed, and now it needs to be freed again but by whom? After reading this, I’m not so sure the nobel price went to the right person back then when it went to dalai lama. Also IF that is buddhism, most of us should check our views again and again (and that’s what buddhism is, isn’t it, checking your views again and again, not getting fixed with it). And then it’s funny (somehow) when reading news like this that all of those women weren’t alive when the tibet was “free” and to read news like this, so we are getting the message of world peace from the leader of organisation which had probably thousands of slaves. Free whom, peace to whom, from whom?

Somehow internet is addictive, so I open a blog or smth.. I read, there’s link for giving me more background info, I click it, I read, there’s a link giving me more background info, I click it, I read, there’s a… and pretty soon I notice that I’m maybe 7 or 8 pages away from the original article I started to read…

But interesting stuff. This is specially interesting, although it’s not so clear what is it that got left out. And then, what it should be, but maybe the links it provides (which I haven’t read yet) give more info. This is also interesting, since vipassana meditation is the most common one in my ears as well and since I though that it has a long history, but no… on that blog there’s is loads of interesting things… but I haven’t verified the texts much yet. So what really is buddhism?

I clearly intrigued by buddhism and zen but at the same time… mm.. maybe I’m just hoping for purity. but we are humans so it’s quite saddening.. well, in a way, to read about money greed and sexual misconducts also in zen (for example this) and the fact that nothing was done is much more tragic. And since it’s buddhism it seems that… well hell. It seems that most of the “enlightened” teachers are fucking up people for good.. Then again if I think of modern society, people definitely need fucking up, but I’m not sure that actually physically fucking them helps much. Somehow I feel that within CI there’s a lot of the same thing, though, like it’s supposed to be so free that rarely people react. And somehow the responses are often same… “All people are grown ups and should be responsible of themselves. The sex has nothing to do other being a teacher and other a student”. Nevertheless other one is the teacher and thus have more power. To be a teacher and deny the role and the fact that people easily but you on the pedestal is being blind, in illusion, not disillusioned. Specially I see this behaviour unacceptable when the other one is just coming in to the society (wether it be “religion” or CI) there is own rules that newcomer doesn’t know, there’s different boundaries than in other facets of life. Of course it should be clear that everybody should take care of their own boundaries nevertheless, but it isn’t clear. You come into the new society because you want to belong, you want to be in (way too often), you want to know what it is about. That not knowing is so easily abused. That’s why any teacher should be extra thoughtful and careful about hers or his doings. Often abusing the newcomer result the newcomer not coming anymore, and that as bad thing as the abuse (specially in case of buddhism because you have turned someone away from dharma). So dissapointing in a way but at the same time good that at least now there is discussion and study about the issue. If I have understood right, one of the reasons why touch and play festival was started was exactly to bring more discussion about this aspect as well.

Any my own revelations. No, not really. I’ve been reading moon in a dewdrop and that man is insane… he is of course enlightened, what ever that means…

Ah… being in crimea and quite a lot of time I was given Virginia Woolfs The Waves to read. I Haven’t read any Woolfs earlier although I have heard something about her. After reading The Waves I’m pretty sure she was enlightened, she was also mad, and killed herself. Then again how often people who are brilliant are mad… or Like Alan Watts and alcohol. If he truly believed and felt what he preached, why the extensive use of alcohol? Anyway, back to the point. The Waves is beautiful. It’s slightly challenging for me because I’m not a native english speaker, so some expressions I miss, but nevertheless. Specially few things what Bernard (one character) says stick to my mind. One is that he is not only Bernard but also Jinny, Louis, Rhoda, Susan and Neville. And other where he tells how the flower becomes full by all of them seeing it… I see one facet, you another… Anyway all of this is pretty useless, rather: Read the Book.

Maybe there was something else?
Well… No, mebbe not. Except I noticed only now that She Said Destroy made another album already on 2008, and I didn’t have it, which is weird since Time Like Vines (2006) was one of my favourites. I heard the new one, now I have to get it. It seems that after that band has been on hiatus. About 3 months ago got Blut Aus Nord‘s 777-Scet(s) and that one is bloody brilliant. So now I got pretty much all of their back catalog (internet is rather amazing) and this means that when ever I get the extra money I know where it goes. I haven’t listened the back catalog so throughout yet, but there is definitely nice stuff there. Listening music a bit more now. But again I’ve been avoiding the new album of my favourite band, Ulver. I’ll listen to it soon since I get the orginal on this week when I get back to finland.

AH yes, I missed Moscow CI festival since I was told that I can get the visa for russia from kiev, but it turns out that in order to do that I need to have residency here and that I cannot get easily. So no moscow… darn. But now I get my tooth fixed over here which is nice. I could write about spending money on things that I don’t need, but maybe I do it later…

mm.. maybe I mention this photoblog here. This far all the pics have been taken on my phone which has serious limitations. Anyway I put it up to motivate me to take pictures nevertheless. I do wish to get good compact camera at some point. Let’s see.

I’ve been also building up “new” darlingdear.net version but it’s not up yet, and it’s not so different from the last one… but at the same time I hope I get some more photos updated.
Doing nothing.