Thrones and dominions

Darn darn darn.

Again I had so many things in my mind what to write about and then when I’m finally here, front of the machine and online connection and time I have empty.

No not empty but not what I wanted to write about.

Mundane things.
Ink is great. and books, and trying to write with brushes. I can’t very well. I would be into calligraphy if I would have the patience. I might not.

Coffee is great. I keep little hopes livin that I would be working around coffee. I notice that I don’t let myself to hope too much. Dissapointments. But why not to hope. Just letting it be easy even if it doesn’t happen.

Ah about thinking.
I’ve been thinking. Some day I wrote that if I would get one € everytime I hear “you think too much” I wouldn’t be massivly rich, but not as poor either.
All the time I read and hear about how this world is too mental, how people THINK too much. Fuck no, most of us (myself included) do not THINK too much, what we do is that we follow normal mental (and possibly verbal) patterns. Most of us are not thinking, and definetly in this world there is not much THINKING happening, come on, look at the news. You honestly believe that thinking caused all of this. If even half of the oil company leaders would have THINKED, or pro-nuclearpower whatnot’s, or politician. if god forbid they would really THINK this world wouldn’t be such a mess, it would be mess nevertheless, but just a slightly it different mess. There is not much THINKING around here, just greed and fear and ignorance. And all of you who go on about heart this and emotions and feelign and whatnot… this world is driven into this mess because of heart and emotions and feelings. Politicians and goverments have disguised the stuff into “thinking” and being “resonable”, but the disguise is quite shallow and easy to see through. Most of scientific studies tell the same. But there in lies a challenge. Next time when the elections hit the fan, try to THINK and really make concious decision by reason, NOT by your emotions. I’ll bet you’ll be failing hopelessly. Most of the stuff we call reason, or reasoning is meaningless nonsense with which we try to tell ourselves who we are…
I am nothing at all, and everything at all. Thus I am not. Yet who the hell keeps pushing these keys…
It’s and endless loop with no sense and no reason and there is, there truly is no way out except to blow the whole thing up, and you know what? I can’t do it. It’s sheer luck of accident if it comes up. And evetually it will come up, maybe in a form of accident. So why are we so afraid of death.

How long can I go without my pleasures. just with minimum of living.

I see this old babushka outside, hand out. She keeps on living, so why do I question mine? Because I think too much you see, just live… Just kill. All morals or ethics are useless… but bad is still bad.. we are always hanged up, by good and evil.

Ah I read a bit of interesting short story by mark twain where old man argues to young man that man is a machine. and it resonated a lot with stuff that UG was babbling about. It resonates also a lot of stuff what certain leftwingers (I might be wrong on this, I’m getting utterly confused with any political ethics) that everything is the fault of the system, and man is driven to crime. Well. Might be the case might not. Steve Harrins is writing in his book Free Will that we have no free will. I haven’t read that through yet either (although the Mark Twain I stopped because it wasn’t mine and I neede to return the book to it’s owner) but he is arguing something about criminal cases that can we really blame them, well, if not then we can also not to blame them because as far as they didn’t have free will to NOT to do the crimes we don’t have free will to NOT to condemn them. (I’m sure that Harris understands this and it’s not his point, like I said I haven’t finished the book, you, go read it). Anyway, book is full of interesting scientific studies how the decision of me writing this word is made already 4 seconds (or something) before I actually no, wait… write it. so even my trying to change it, it’s also been seen seconds before in my brainwaves. Amazing isn’t it? Truly amazing. Soon we all be controlled and no one ever never do crimes again, but who watches the watchmen?

Heard happy news from my friend, made me happy.

Been readin a lot of Song of Ice and Fire, now days mainly referred with the name of the first book Game of Thrones. It’s cathcy. I remeber that Marko went on about the book years ago, but no, I need HBO series to get into it. BTW at least the first season is very loyal to the book. The next ones I don’t know because I haven’t seen them. In ibiza I read a lot since I had not much else to do. I like ibiza though.
Now it was super to come to Novosibirsk and walk in the nature and swim in the lake (that they call sea) it’s reminds so much of Finnish summer that it’s somehow pleasant and beautiful. Although here it has been without the rains. Way too dry I hear. In Finland way too wet I hear.

Anyway, just today changed the ticket to stay here one more day. I don’t really THINK and pay attention enough you see. Times dates flight which way the earth revolves. Oh well. Maybe I’ll get a nice job in ibiza. After dancing so little for so long time again I should start to work on myself and movement… and even teach it. It will be fun, partly, mainly.

Ok.. I’m sure there was something else, original, interesting, politically meaningfull, but, I just can’t remember it now…

Tale to tell?

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