a machine


“Somewhere, long time ago, I read that conflict is the origin of everything.
To not to agree.
To oppose a force, is to gather it, intensify.
Think of the dammed river.
Think of winds, tornados.
But eventually dam will either brake or overflow.
To resist to find something new,
To reguide.
Why am I fighting for. Why am I fighting? Or why I you? the hate, the fear?
Is violence the last resort of the unheard, not being listened, not having a change to change the environment, not having any other means of change.
When I feel I cannot affect my surroundings, be heard, I become angry… Thoughlesss violence. Little by little it becomes thought, thinking, how to affect. and then, it is called terrorism. And at the same time, it’s the byrocracy, the state, that is terrorizing me, pushing me to the point where I feel I have no option, no chances.
ONE. How can I reguide this force? how could I find options where there’s not, chance where I see none.
TWO. If your violence is born from the same, how could I support you, turn your aggression to the place of support. Without needing to defeat, without needing to crush, with out need to play it down or belittle, but to take in and turn that momentum into something that I can support?
In this world of abundance, in a world where, even with this overpopulation we could still feed and shelter and even educate us all… why do we deprive each others. Why do I feel lost and clueless on what to do, and how could I be in the place that is right for me.
If this is a machine, it should be breaked and redesigned. It’s not a machine, it’s us. can we change?”

I wrote this to a friend, thinking of a piece that I have been thinking for ages but never had the capability of actually applying the funds.
I haven’t been writing over here for such a log time, and since it feels that I would be again mainly complaining how I don’t know anything, I don’t want to write now either.

I would like to find people who would have a clear, straight forward ideas for work how would like to hear my twisted and not so straightforwards ideas for work and then work together.
It’s funny how I think that this world should really stop revolving around work and at the same time I want work. So, I don’t need work, but I need that I’m sustained and that I have meaningful things to do. It shouldn’t be so much to ask, but apparently it is.

Such is life.