Into the world of things.
My friend Marko told me about this shop that sells Karhu originals for 60€, I got some. Why. Last time I bought sneakers (or shoes for that matter) was in summer 2004 when I got three pairs of the sneakers I liked. Now 2008 the last pair is still usable, but not for long (and no, I haven’t been wearing them in winter). So now I do the same. And good side with Karhu is that they mainly made in finland, although some are made is tallinn, which isn’t far either, and most probably by adults who get proper salary for making them. No sweatshops. And I quite like their collection.
USBM arrived. All green and red vinyl except Lurker of Chalice which is blue/black. I’ve mainly listened Leviathans The Blind Wound. I got them yesterday as well as I got packet from tonefloat. Bass Communion II and Theo Travis’ Slow life. Travis sounds nice, but I’m deeply annoyed by the scratch or click noise on the side four. I tried to look the surface of the vinyl, but I see now flaw. And it was the first time I listen to it, straight from inside jacket to plate. So that noise is not my doings. Maybe I should put it up somewhere and write to tone float and ask about the pressing. Maybe I’ll do that.
Otherwise nothing much, or maybe something. I went to see this dance/theatre/musical piece, mainly about living in suburb. First: Writing good finnish lyric is very hard, many times I felt the shivers of shame in my spine. -> Thumbs up to the performers, it need guts to sing something like that (no, not all the lyrics were bad, just some parts).
Second: Again I feel I’m being told something I already know and by using clichés, why? Don’t we have enough american movies doing the same thing. Well of course those are american clichés, where as here we have finnish clichés but why am I being told this “story”. All and all it made me feel sad, mainly because our life looks really sad, and it is. secondly that I’m being told that our life is sad, Yes I know it already. Actually I’m very much against narratives right now. Specially when I think of dance. I wrote a long letter to my friend and some of it concerning about this, so let me quote myself:
I’ve keep seeing these dance piece’s [with] high use a lot of voice and music and singing. I somehow long for pieces that are only movement, only to see if there is anything. Can it move me in anyway?
I keep seeing these pieces that seem to be telling me something I already know. And I wonder why they want to tell me that? Then I wonder what I want to tell, and I don’t know.
Some people say, that to make dance piece easier to the audience, there should be something recognizable. From normal life or culture or whatnot. Why? When I hear music there’s nothing that I can connect with everyday life (unless [in]the lyrics), And yet music has the chance of moving me deeply. Why the movement couldn’t do the same. And I know it can. But why everybody (more or less) accepts the music that can be totally abstract and still capable to make us feel, but not movement?
Why on applying grants I have to tell what the piece is about – I don’t know. How anyone can say what some music piece is about? And strangely, often classical music is about something. But it’s ok the listener not to know it. So why should the watcher of dance piece know what it’s about. It’s happening, you see what is happening, it might move you or then not.
So, I don’t want narratives. But I can’t say what I want. It’s the same thing with music. Words descriping the thing lack the thing itself. I can describe a good song, but there’s a whole bunch of songs that will fall straight into that description and they still don’t move/touch me, I might hate them, more likely.
That’s what I like about dance or movement or music, that in the end I cannot not talk about it. I can use some words and maybe if the person I’m talking have seen/heard the same piece s/he will understand what I’m saying, maybe. And to the person who has not, it might build up some expectations or some image but ultimately s/he can not understand.
When it’s so clear that with movement there’s a chance to go deeper, why I feel I see so many pieces trying to use words, trying to explain(maybe) and thus staying on the surface, or at least offering the watcher the easy surface to stay with.
How then build a piece that moves? I do not know. let me quote myself again
So when thinking of dance and myself, I would like to make a dance that moves something, makes somebody feel. And yet I don’t know how to do it. With music I don’t know it either, but usually the music I make, makes me feel something. But so far, from the small amount of feedback I have gotten (it’s also small amount of people who have heard anything), I can’t really say that my music has moved anyone, it might have, sure. How I am supposed to justify my attemps to make art, dance or music, when there’s no evidence what so ever, that I could make people think or feel, a bit more. And then, why do I have to justify it in the first place? The answer is saddening, to live, to be able to live, to make money.
Is there a chance to live with art. I so hope there would be, but not for all who would want it. Not for me it seems. So how do I deal with the situation I am. How am I able to change it?
Oh well, same questions over and over again.
Everything’s the same my dear, and somehow, it will never end.
1 tale
