Taking a chance in the Open


From Robert Rankin’s The dance of the voodoo handbag again.

Down the busy shopping street,
Tripping over two large feet,
Frightening babies at the pram,
Sneering at the traffic jam,
Maladroit Mal,
Nobody’s pal,
Taking a chance in the open

Over local village green,
Geeing up the beauty queen,
Yelling great and profane oaths,
Making bakers soil their loafs,
Maladroit Mal,
Nobody’s pal,
Taking a chance in the open

Up the cut and down the dells,
Followed by unsavoury smells,
Crawling and



Maladroit Mal,
Nobody’s pal,
Taking a chance in the open

The Spurs of the Cockerel

Pic from Ecite 2009.

I have a lot towrite but I haven’t done it.. and the when I think I do I will forget what I had to write. But now, just so that this kkeps safe, I’m gonna write someone else’s text. From the book The Dance of the voodoo Handbag by Robert Rankin, I poem (I guess) that’s between chapter 3 and 4. The Spurs of the Cockerel

Boy racers pass in large numbers
Waking priests from their reverent slumbers,
Vanish in clouds of blue gasoline
Leaving dark marks where their tyres have been.
Engines that move by the power of ten horses
Occupants altered in shape by G-forces.

Boy racers pass in their white GT’s
With the spurs of the cockerel behind them

Climbers on peaks in the Andes
Dream of the life of the dandies,
Slim cigarettes held in holders of jade
Drag boys who stroll on the glass esplanade,
Cool Coca-Cola in blue-tinted glasses,
Silver decanters and late dinner passes.

Climbers on peaks sit and wonder
With the spursof the cockerel behind them

Crass Latin waiters hold trays up
In clubs where the night person stays up,
News-reading ladies in glittery togs,
Paid baby-sitters look after their dogs,
Cherries that toast in a sea-fire of brandy
Debudantes sipping their apricot shandy.

Crass Latin waiters swear under their breath,
With the spurs of the cockerel behind them.

Brown paper clerics read masses
To herds of the best-tailored Fascists,
Fast people’s custom-made Rolles and Mercs,
White hands that ill disguise tailor-made smirks.
Silk-lined cravats and velvet pray-dos,
Never a glimpse of the old tennis shoes.

Brown paper clerics are playing it safe,
With the spurs of the cockerel above them.

Not that I’m bitter

Not that I understand it, but I think the poems are the best part of the book.
This was my favourite but now when I read them again (only the poems, not the book) I think I have to share couple of others.

Good night and good luck to you all

Roses growing


So back home, then off, back home and then off again.ZIP was great, thanks to every one. Great dances, great people, great city and Suberb ice cream.

After that 5 days in Purnu surrounded by art. Like last time, in 2004, staying there evokes a lot of small melodies and text. On 2004 I wrote more than I had written in a long time, and wrote ever since. This time it feels almost impossible to move without humming or talking a bit. I notice that I fix myself pieces.
Next to “garden of delight” I have this talking thing, text remains the same, movement varies within my own scale, not a lot though.
In hall five, is a triptych, so my piece is in three parts. first one with humming and repeating, meditative work with spine, sitting. next part moving in space, somewhat typical movement patterns of mine, also certain places in space start to repeat themselves, the third and the last returns to the humming of the first part, with even more silent body, humming and movement fading.
Hall seven, which is hard place to work, evoke this song in me… I just recorded it now with my iMac, and it’s 0:31 so I couldn’t do it very loud, or even in normal volume, but since I’m so fond of it right now, and since I know I will not have a change to do it again (here) anytime soon, I’ll just put it up. All the words and melody came up in hall seven, with three huge singers with flowers on their heads, two small metamorphosis and some photos and paintings. If you happen to visit finland and tampere/orivesi, you should visit Purnu.

Ok, tomorrow I’m off again. All the best.

Good night and good luck to you all.

and somehow..


Into the world of things.
My friend Marko told me about this shop that sells Karhu originals for 60€, I got some. Why. Last time I bought sneakers (or shoes for that matter) was in summer 2004 when I got three pairs of the sneakers I liked. Now 2008 the last pair is still usable, but not for long (and no, I haven’t been wearing them in winter). So now I do the same. And good side with Karhu is that they mainly made in finland, although some are made is tallinn, which isn’t far either, and most probably by adults who get proper salary for making them. No sweatshops. And I quite like their collection.

USBM arrived. All green and red vinyl except Lurker of Chalice which is blue/black. I’ve mainly listened Leviathans The Blind Wound. I got them yesterday as well as I got packet from tonefloat. Bass Communion II and Theo Travis’ Slow life. Travis sounds nice, but I’m deeply annoyed by the scratch or click noise on the side four. I tried to look the surface of the vinyl, but I see now flaw. And it was the first time I listen to it, straight from inside jacket to plate. So that noise is not my doings. Maybe I should put it up somewhere and write to tone float and ask about the pressing. Maybe I’ll do that.

Otherwise nothing much, or maybe something. I went to see this dance/theatre/musical piece, mainly about living in suburb. First: Writing good finnish lyric is very hard, many times I felt the shivers of shame in my spine. -> Thumbs up to the performers, it need guts to sing something like that (no, not all the lyrics were bad, just some parts).
Second: Again I feel I’m being told something I already know and by using clichés, why? Don’t we have enough american movies doing the same thing. Well of course those are american clichés, where as here we have finnish clichés but why am I being told this “story”. All and all it made me feel sad, mainly because our life looks really sad, and it is. secondly that I’m being told that our life is sad, Yes I know it already. Actually I’m very much against narratives right now. Specially when I think of dance. I wrote a long letter to my friend and some of it concerning about this, so let me quote myself:

I’ve keep seeing these dance piece’s [with] high use a lot of voice and music and singing. I somehow long for pieces that are only movement, only to see if there is anything. Can it move me in anyway?
I keep seeing these pieces that seem to be telling me something I already know. And I wonder why they want to tell me that? Then I wonder what I want to tell, and I don’t know.

Some people say, that to make dance piece easier to the audience, there should be something recognizable. From normal life or culture or whatnot. Why? When I hear music there’s nothing that I can connect with everyday life (unless [in]the lyrics), And yet music has the chance of moving me deeply. Why the movement couldn’t do the same. And I know it can. But why everybody (more or less) accepts the music that can be totally abstract and still capable to make us feel, but not movement?
Why on applying grants I have to tell what the piece is about – I don’t know. How anyone can say what some music piece is about? And strangely, often classical music is about something. But it’s ok the listener not to know it. So why should the watcher of dance piece know what it’s about. It’s happening, you see what is happening, it might move you or then not.

So, I don’t want narratives. But I can’t say what I want. It’s the same thing with music. Words descriping the thing lack the thing itself. I can describe a good song, but there’s a whole bunch of songs that will fall straight into that description and they still don’t move/touch me, I might hate them, more likely.
That’s what I like about dance or movement or music, that in the end I cannot not talk about it. I can use some words and maybe if the person I’m talking have seen/heard the same piece s/he will understand what I’m saying, maybe. And to the person who has not, it might build up some expectations or some image but ultimately s/he can not understand.
When it’s so clear that with movement there’s a chance to go deeper, why I feel I see so many pieces trying to use words, trying to explain(maybe) and thus staying on the surface, or at least offering the watcher the easy surface to stay with.

How then build a piece that moves? I do not know. let me quote myself again

So when thinking of dance and myself, I would like to make a dance that moves something, makes somebody feel. And yet I don’t know how to do it. With music I don’t know it either, but usually the music I make, makes me feel something. But so far, from the small amount of feedback I have gotten (it’s also small amount of people who have heard anything), I can’t really say that my music has moved anyone, it might have, sure. How I am supposed to justify my attemps to make art, dance or music, when there’s no evidence what so ever, that I could make people think or feel, a bit more. And then, why do I have to justify it in the first place? The answer is saddening, to live, to be able to live, to make money.

Is there a chance to live with art. I so hope there would be, but not for all who would want it. Not for me it seems. So how do I deal with the situation I am. How am I able to change it?

Oh well, same questions over and over again.
Everything’s the same my dear, and somehow, it will never end.


Well here in finland we have this thing called culture, and thing called theatre. This man named Smeds made a new production from this highly knowed book/play/movie “unknown soldier”. Even before it was premiered tabloids screamed what not. Now it has premiered but still we have these smart asses like our prime minister who said that this version might have some artistic value but he himself doesn’t see it. But He hasn’t bloody seen it! He hasn’t seen the play! and still he can say something like that in a newspaper for christ sake. What a bloody idiot. The controversal part of the play or this version of the play is in the end where they apparently shoot/kill persons living, like our president etc. I do not know why, but I wouldn’t judge it before seeing the damn thing. I understand it might be uncomfortable to go see a play and see yourself get shot on the stage, but still I wouldn’t judge ar critizise it’s artistic value before seeing the whole play. You know the director might have some point there. You never know. Isn’t it nice to work on a culture field on a country where we have such an intellectual at charge.

I could have something else to write too, actually I have, but I’m not going to do it now. so later.

Read this

Hell he’s a… I do not know. Artist, definetly.
Read this old interview

in every thing


The Prophets Isaiah and Ezekiel dined with
04 me, and I asked them how they dared so roundly to
05 assert. that God spoke to them; and whether they
06 did not think at the time, that they would be mis-
07 -understood, & so be the cause of imposition,
08 Isaiah answer’d. I saw no God, nor heard
09 any, in a finite organical perception; but my sen-
10 -ses discover’d the infinite in every thing, and as I
11 was then perswaded, & remain confirm’d; that the
12 voice of honest indignation is the voice of God, I
13 cared not for consequences but wrote.
14 Then I asked: does a firm perswasion that a
15 thing is so, make it so?
16 He replied, All poets believe that it does, &
17 in ages of imagination this firm perswasion remo
18 -ved mountains; but many are not capable of a
19 firm perswasion of any thing.

from William Blake archives link



I had something to write, but I tend to forget.

Found new albums, new shops, new stuff. Feeling slighty depressed. I know that stuff will not make me any happier. But music, well, there’s a chance. Today I got new DMST and Wolverine Brass which I hope will be good. DMST will be good, I’m quite certain. I haven’t listened them at all though.

What I have listened is Alva Noto and Ryuichi Sakamoto Reverb ep which is stunning. Depressing, yes, but at the same time clear reason to live. Right now I’m listening Encre’s à Kora which is very good also. Although I’m not so into the vocals on second piece. When I first heard Encre I was really excited, I wanted it straight away. Instead it took me almost six months, or maybe even longer actually. Well now I have it and I do like it a lot. I just whish he would do more stuff like this. à Kora only has three pieces.

Maybe even somewhere here is note on me reading M. John Harrison’s Light. I read it in finnish. When there was sale in bookshops I noticed Harrison’s Anima. It was on the end of the bookshelf, looking like somebody had took it first and then decided not to take it after all and left it there. I took it, but at the same time I went to see if they had his book Course of Heart. I had read an interview of Harrison or some article since he was visiting finland and there was mentioned this book “eilisen mystinen sydän”. It actually is older then Light, but it had translated later. For some reason I was intrigued by the title. Now, everyone of you who understands finnish understand that it really isn’t straight translation. But I still like it, even though Course of Heart isn’t really the same as “yesterdays mystical heart”. But then where in english the translation seem to be bad, in finnish… How would you translate “Course of Heart”? Anyway, I went to see if the shop would have it but they didn’t. I took Anima and went home. Back home I noticed that Anima is actually two books bind together, Course of Heart and Signs of life. I checked the covers again and yes, on the backside with quite small print amongs the “he’s the most imaginitive writer etc” was mentioned that it’s a two book binding. Anyway. I was lucky that they didn’t have course of heart as separate edition.

Back to the title. After read the book I think that the translation fits. For me it fits the mood of the book and the story. I quite liked the Light. I liked Course of Heart too. But then again, I’m not so critical with books. I have written about this earlier here somewhere. Today I finished Signs of Life. All of these three books have this atmosphere of… I don’t know, Sadness? It’s too clear word, there’s something else. But where I felt that Light ends somehow hopeful these two others don’t. Right now I feel that both books have something same as Ray Loriga’s Tokio ei välitä meistä enää ( I do not know is this translated to english, I gues it must have) which I really really liked too. I don’t know.

What I’m trying to say

Read the books. All three of them.

I bought Light in english for R when she was going to wales. I think I’ll start it now and read it in english myself.

I also have Jonathan Safran Foer’s Everything is illuminated waiting, but I think I’ll read through light first

And unless I haven’t mentioned or you haven’t notice let’s say this once again. Go to tenderversion.com and try to find mp3 singles, where you should find Once We Were’s Repulsion. Ups. Since tenderversion’s site is under construction I’ll put repulsion here.

I tend to forget

pretty picture

I got this postcard from a friend. I tend to forget. I guess originally it was a flyer for some dance(?) piece, I don’t know. But it’s a great title for any piece.

This house I’m living is quite cold now. The walls are covered with kyprok, it means we can’t hang much painting, pictures etc onto the walls. Well, we are moving.

Nobody answers me. I’ve been mailing staalplaat a lot. I ordered them a bunch of albums on 1.2.07 They haven’t arrived, they haven’t answered. Sad bastards. I’ve ordered from them before with no problems. I don’t know what’s the point. And this webhostel provider where whis page is, is renewing their mail system. I cannot make new mail boxes. This been the case for about 3 months now. They said that this renewing would be ready on beginning of 2007. I’ve mailed their “helpdesk” for three times now, No answer. Sad bastards.

Say what you like, but pod’s lovely. Right now I’m listening reverb by Alva Noto and Ryuichi Sakamoto and the first piece is absolytely stunning, very different than the stuff on Vrioon and Insen but really lovely. Actually it’s just very suitable for my mood now. It doesn’t make it less lovely though.

Listened through Cult of Luna’s Salvation and suddenly realised that at least now I actually like Somewhere along the Highway even more. When I first listened “Somewhere…” I felt it was good but not as brilliant as Salvation. Things change. Our perception changes.

I went to see two dance pieces today. Liked them both, but I can’t help thinking how useless and hopeless this all is. Even though I felt that the pieces mainly comment about dance, choreography and making of those two, it still made me feel sad. Its good to ask my own motivation for doing things. How to do things? Why why why. And the never fading: What is important and what do you really want to do?

I don’t read the handprograms nowdays, or if I do I read them after the seeing the piece. Usually I just check what was the music. Why?

Do I really need to know what was the base for the piece, why is it made? Art is made to be perceived, not explaned. Ok, not all hand programs explain, many of them don’t, but some of them do. Book is written to be read, Song is sung to be heard. If I need to explain what is this piece about, why do I do the piece?

If you read books, how many good backside have you read? Ususally on the back of the book is some words that try shortly explain what the book is about. Why bother. Those text are always (with a few exceptions) crap.

What if I wouldn’t have to validate my art by explaining it, what if doing it would be enough. It is enough.

Memory fail

coffee we are

Considering my work applications.
Got my first answer where the guy promises to inform other teachers, but accidentally he send me also the mail he’s supposed to send someone else saying “I promised to this guy also that I’ll inform the teachers but you can decide is it really necessary for everyone to know” Oh how nice. Doesn’t sound so good, well there’s three more… no two more places and I have to figure out more places eventually.

I was supposed to upload the new pictures to here… well to the blog archive, but I forgot the usb stick, I also forgot my little memory book and what else? Luckiy I didn’t forgot the photos I came here to scan. And I didn’t forgot the empty cd-rw I needed.

With the same time I visited cstrecords and noticed that their webshop is great. Now I only have to figure out how they react with customs/tolls whatnot. But hey, Great music with just 13€ a piece, unless you want vinyls like I do. But maybe just maybe I’ll turn to cd’s once again. Oh well it’s so very hard. I already got a shopping bag of 160€ so maybe not since no work to be seen still.

I tried to record first guitars today. Having problems with rhythm. And recording just the guitar without vocal, having problems recrding vocals without the guitar. Two mics please but then the mixing? blaa blaa.

And just now visiting morrmusic and almost all of the samples there sound oh so nice, but maybe oh a bit same. Where do they get their artist and why on earth they don’t have their own webshop. Do they? No they don’t.

Hoping to go and see some dance today. Famous choreographer and three dancer who seem to appear in almost every production there has lately been. Let’s see how much the tickets are.

Added link to Jesper Just’s site. Do visit.




Started my morning listening over and over again Dead Man Ray’s song “cerchy” which you can find from marginal ep. Absolutely stunning. I’ve done that many times before spending hours of rotating just that one song over and over again. Yesterday’s post got me to put all my DMR and zita swoon albums to computer. Here we are.

Finished reading Kazuo Ishiguro’s “Ole Luonani aina” [never let me go]. It’s hard to say do I like the book or not. I was hoping that they would have gotten away somehow. Left the place, safe, but no. And at the same time I know that it would have been bad ending if it would have ended happy. Almost straight after finishing, I searched for jobs, since my school is ending within a month and I definetly need some money. There’s not much jobs for dancers, there’s a lot for different kinds of social work but jobs are paid lousily and I really don’t want to do it. I realized that the book does really tell about the same situation where most of us are. How the hell I can get away? That’s why book is so depressing, it’s not about them, it’s about us, it’s about me. Although I do have a bit better chances than the characters in the book. If this didn’t get your interest up, never mind. Read something else instead.

Did I tell you about Will Self’s book? I probably didn’t. If you have to choose, take the one above, in that one we’re only miserable about living. In “kuinka kuolleet elävät” [how the dead live] we’re miserable both, living and being dead. But I wouldn’t say that it was a bad book either. Bit repulsive maybe, but not bad.

Tomorrow back to library and getting more books. I have to have some good excuse not to be writing all the time. Ain’t library a fantastic idea. I hope they’ll stay free.

Find that marginal ep.

So long for suzie….
-dead man ray

After yesterday

fell off the floor

I’ve been mostly listening mister Basinski’s Melancholia. I wrote to him and asked if I could use a piece of it in my final work. He hasn’t answered yet. Luckily there’s time. I really really want the garden of brokenness. And some other albums too. But not from him since I have all the other albums he has released. Although there is some small things that I would like to have, like shortwavemusic, released by raster-noton, and some other stuff that is also out of print.

Melancholia suited so well my yesterday, and today. Although I notice there’s a chance getting hunged up on it.

Finished reading Valo (Light) by M. John Harrison. I did like it, in a way. I think I will read more of his books, wondering does the local library have his Eilisen mystinen sydän (course of the heart), and why it has been translated into that.

Sanna gave me Paulo Coelho’s alchemist, since I asked it. So that one will be next.

Did I tell you anything about the Sheri S. Tepper’s Grass? Maybe not. Maybe I won’t read her books anymore. It wasn’t really bad, and it was fasinating in a way. But there’s something really childish in her way of writing the characters. It wasn’t as bad as beauty, not nearly, but it wasn’t really that good either.

Did I say something about the Viktor Pelevin’s the Helmet of horror? Maybe not. I didn’t really understand much, to be onest, but I liked the experience all the same. I do recommend that book. Maybe if you know more about Minotauros and Theseus you get more out of it. But even me who doesn’t really know much, got something out of it. Mainly Kon-fus-ion. What a delight.

Today I was supposed to fix some photos. I’m thinking of hand program for the final work. I have an idea, now I just need to make it work. I haven’t really done anything. I got home around five and after that I haven’t done anything except read.

Rehearsed once, didn’t seem to work. But it’s all about trust. I know it. Ans Jojo promised to fix my pant tomorrow before I go. Jeij.

Basinski – Melancholia
Basinski – Variations: a movement in chrome primitive
Katatonia – Brave Murder Day
Reich – Cello counterpoint

But really, there’s nothing

we start so small, we end up dying

We are already living in a state of fear and selfcensorship. All our bold feminist are doing nothing except being sorry for some mild pictures even though there should be planty to say about islams ways to treat women. Maybe our bold feminists, president included, want to go back home cooking food, making babies, dressed in bags.
One finnish culture magazine from Oulu (northern town) released a cartoon which does include muhammed and cartoonist having a conversation. I see no reason for anyone to get upset. I see no way that would make mockery of anyones beliefs even. And still, head editor has been sacked. Town of Oulu has cancelled the work they had ordered from the cartoonist. Two big finnish insurance/banking companies took out their advertisemt from the magazine. What we learn from here? It’s quite ok to threat with violence. It works. Now I only wonder that maybe I should start to make death threats too, that seem to be the way to make things work in here. I’ll kill you and your family if you don’t do as I say!!!!

Oh brother.

Added support danmark banner to side as you can notice, but it’s not really their struggle anymore. It’s ours, it’s mine.

Sad am I, sad I am.

On the happier side. Maiju made me a new hat since the previous one got stolen in Israel. It’s very very good although she complained that she couldn’t get as good yarn as she used for the stolen one. I don’t mind, it’s better than the hat’s I have. Let’s see has Noora got the one I ordered ready. She also complained about the yarn I got for her, saying it’s so thing that it will take ages to make it ready. And I do believe her since it has taken ages, hah. Although I could also blame Hanna since I do not know anything about knittin etc. and she was with me when buying the yarn and said that it would be fine. I guess, no, I’m not excatly sure she said that, but she didn’t said it wouldn’t be fine either.

Weazie sent me one of his songs with vocals if I would care to sing it. I will although I do not think my performance will be any better than his, actually. But it’s very nice of him to ask. I can make couple of versions and then he can use one of them if he want’s. My bet is that he won’t use them after all. Then again I haven’t made the versions yet.

Which brings to mind that I really should and should and should sing. Also I should make up some lyrics. I should record. I should edit. But instead I sit here in front of computer writing this blog, and reading others. Jeij.

Soon it’s waves again, sixth day. On seventh, all rested but I will not.

Lot of people/bloggers seem to use flickr, I wonder should I? But maybe first I should do photo.waveway.org since it’s still not ready. To be honest I havent’ really even started. There’s still hundreds of pictures I should run through and see what I want to present.

Remember: friends are evil. If not to you, to the other people.

“and all the stones I’ve thrown, they came back twice as strong”

found this:

Very clear writing why those 12 cartoons was published in jyllands posten. Shame on you finnish president, prime minister and other sorry cowards.

She’s warm like fire..

sky above ground ahead
…the smoke will lead you home

To be honest the whole sunset panorama is great eventhough these to excerpt are both from the same song. It’s actually such a masterful entirety that it’s in a way even hard to pick out song, but I’ll do it anyway: asymmetric tricks, trace back the particle track, ahabian, fell into the well. With “smoke will..” these four songs are key songs, but with out others they wouldn’t be.

So more logh. And waking to the sounds of sine wave by Mogwai. Then changing into Katatonia‘s tonight’s decicion and then Jesu into headphones as I walk to school.

Jesu actually suited my day quite perfectly. I really have tired of me feeling. In a way. Not very nice day. Too tired and I feel I might be coming sick but I decided that I won’t.

Since today was the 4th day of waves. Three more days to go. And three more waves. Nobody watching today. But yesterday there was two people visiting. It’s funny since the whole thing is based on repetition. I really feel that to get most out of it you should visit at least on two days. And on the flyer/advertisement I’ve clearly stated that they are different. But maybe if you’ve seen one wave you’ve seen them all (what is a wave?).

So right now I’m feeling ill a bit. Slight headache. But TV is showing “runoraati” (poem program) on ten minutes and I really want to hear poems. And to hear what the people in studio has to say about them.

Just to say this out loud. Do yorself a big favour and visit Logh and order all of their albums. And I mean all of them. “every time a bell….” is too good to be true and these too next ons are way too good too.

Good night and good luck to you all.

What about

hours looking back to see...

Actually got something done, which is weird. Troll is sick so no “mercy…” practise but instead I practised/warmed up “things we lost in the fire”. Just in case he won’t recover early enough, so I have a backup piece I can show next saturday. Although I rather would do the duet.

Found a place for 8 waves, it’s could but it’s visually much better than the warmer one, and the warmer one isn’t warm either. Still have two wave DVD’s to make. Tomorrow.

Today I’ve been listening more metal. My Dying Bride from cd at morning, both “turn loose the swans” and “Songs of darkness words of light”. Then At the gates from iMac. I’ve become a freak. I just watch when last.fm will update my overall top list. And how up ATG goes.

And now, Knut.

If you read finnish, this is an interesting piece of writing.

Tepper’s Beauty takes tight turns… I’m not so sure do I like it. I’ll go on. Actually there isn’t many books that I haven’t read till the end. To me it’s really hard to judge books anyhow. Rarely I can say that some book is bad or lousy. Rarely I can say is the book really good either. There is exceptions of course, like all those Ursula K Le Guins that I’ve been praising. And “Master and Margarita” from Bulgakov and Ray Loriga’s “tokio doesn’t love us anymore” Flann O’brien’s “third policeman”(all three read in finnish though). So yes there’s great books but rarely really lousy books. Well probably there’s a lot of lousy books but I just haven’t pick’d them up. Except Dean R. Koontz. I’ve read two of his books and both of them were really crappy. The plot was so bad even for a horror book. And for some reason I started the third one but I couldn’t finish it. Actually I’m not sure did I finnish the second one either. The text is depressingly bad, language is really lousy (or then the tranlater was really bad) and the plot was total crap. And this guy seems to be selling a lot? Why. There’s so much better writers specially in the field of horror.

That’s enough. I’ll go to sleep so I have energy to practise dance tomorrow duet or solo.

I feel my soul go cold…

only the dead are smiling
Today I, among others, heard this amazing story of old hallways underneath even the mine safts of outokumpu. There was some ancient breed that used to freeze human souls to have tools to sculpture the hardest stone on earth.
The story took about two hours and was really amazing achievement of improvised story telling. I still have the mental image of lighting a lamb.

Changed my last.fm chart to be top five overall artist and it’s underneath there on a footer of the page. Let’s see.
What an important piece of information.

Oku jams are not looking so well. Right now we have ten people coming (including us) and there should be at least 20.
I think I’ll have to write another mail.

I’m clearly missing something. Is it a person or is it those things that I connect to this person? What I am actually missing? Touch, that’s for sure.

For the whole of this week I’ve been dining alone. Some days it has been my choice, some days not. Do I have anything to say to anyone? Does anyone has anything say to me? It’s nice to eat alone, but sometimes it’s nice to have company. I’m starting to miss the company for a change.

After playing Knut in Lataamo yesterday I’ve been listening it today, a bit. I think I have to check their earlier albums. Terraformer is really rocking.

And if you manage to look at the list on a footer, I’ll let you know that most of that Cat Power is really just that one song, He war.

Good night, it’s late, yet again.


Found this site throught lupatarkastaja Check it out. Man I wish I had the money, even film is expensive, not to even think about more polaroids. I wish I wish.

Go visit: Mark-Steffen G̦wecke РPolaroids

Blood Inside

Hello to you all.

To see what I’m talking about visit this blog.

Incase you still don’t know what is it let me tell you that Ulver‘s “Blood inside” is probably the best album that has come out in 2005. Alhough I’m not quite sure since Jesu‘s debut is also quite charming. Anyway, Blood Inside is really really brilliant album. They blend jazz, ambient, calssical and everything else but with such a style and taste that it works beautifully. The key (in my opinion) is the sounds, throughout the whole album the production of sounds is so coherent that eventhough they use various styles of music the album stays coherent also and so they end up sounding no one else but themselves. I ordered a vinyl from the end records and now I’m hoping they will read my notes and ship the order on january. This because finnish post will keep the packages just two weeks and if it’s not claimed by then they’ll sent the package back to sender. And I’ll be away about four weeks, so I much rather be here when that packet arrives.

Speaking of which I got the packet from conspiracy records today, which was a relief since I was afraid that I would leave to holiday before it arrives. So today I’ve been listening to Knut – Terraformer (from cd not through net), Isis – Oceanic and Bohren & Der Club of Gore – Sunset mission.

My friend Jojo just lend me her new favourite Autolux, and with the experience of two listenthroughs it does sound quite good. More more more.

I’ve been reading Ursula Le Guin’s short stories, Now I’m reading “four ways to forgiveness” in which all the four stories are entwined to each others and all of them are telling about sociosystems of planets Werel and Yeowe. Werel was known to me already from the story “old music and slave women” that is in the book “the Birthday of the world”, I’m not sure is Yeowe mentioned. Anyway, Werel is a planet where slavery exist and Yeowe is the next planet which four big werelian corporations colonialized with factories, farmland and slaves. In a few hundreds of years the slaves of Yeowe rebelled and at the point of those four stories Yeowe is “free” and Werel is on it’s way to civil war. Eventhough the stories can be hard and heavy I recommend them to everyone. She (U. Le Guin) has such a talent of seeing and writing. And somehow the stories are really human, real. And they’re not simplified, or glorified. She seems to se humans as human, not as heroes and villains. Humans capable to good and bad, and even the good and bad are not so simple things. “Four ways to forgiveness” is one of her books that I’ve enjoyed the most, somehow. I think it goes to the top with “the Disposessed” and “Always Coming Home”. I have liked her other short stories collection a lot ( I think I have them all now, but I haven’t read them all just yet), but since this is going around with the same topics and same worlds it’s most coherent and the quality of stories is high through out. On other ones, like “compass rose” or “unlocking the air” there has usually been a few stories that rise over the other ones (“the diary of the rose”, “the eye altering” and “sur” on “Compass Rose”; “half past four”,”in the drought”, “ether, OR” and unlocking the air” on “Unlocking the Air”; “the masters”, “winter’s king”, “nine lives”, “vaster than empires and more slow” and “the stars below” on “the Wind’s Twelve Quarters”), But on “four ways to forgiveness” I really can’t rise one story over another, theyre binded together and together they’ll paint, not the whole picture, but a fair bit more than they would do separately. I’m quite sad that Le Guin’s books have not been translated that much into finnish. It would be easy to know some xmas presents.

Read more, watch less.

Good night.

video forms

As you might notice video section has a new look. I decided to go back to play with picture’s cause it’s so much more easier.

Now I can stand the lay out and the idea is clear. There’s few fixes to be made sure, but not that much. Maybe later.

New opeth is as good as expected, what else.

tired days.